Thanksgiving Follow Up

   To be totally honest, the blending portion of my diet didn't go well.  It didn't go well at all.  In fact, it didn't really happen.  I did blend some sausage, eggs and cheese the first day, but found it to be completely a hassle and not worth the effort.  So I didn't take the blender with me to Sheridan.  Instead, I decided that I would simply chew my food well and I ran with it.

   All in all, I'd say I did pretty well.  For my Thanksgiving meal, I grabbed a couple small pieces of turkey, a scoop of sweet potato casserole, a child size scoop of stuffing and a little corn.  I took my time chewing it all and still managed to be the first one done at the table - including kids.  It was pretty tasty and I didn't have any issues at all.  The issues did arrive with other meals though.

   My hotel included a free cooked to order breakfast every morning.  For someone who struggles with value eating and also the type of person who hates wasting food, it is hard to get a plate filled with breakfast potatoes, buttered toast and an awesome looking omelet and not eat too much!  I probably overdid it a couple times over the few days we were there.  I was really worried about coming back down and finding myself over 300 pounds again.  It is always amazing how little effort it takes to put on five pounds than it is to take it off.  Anyway, I didn't balloon up as I feared.  However since I was gone for the normal weigh in day, I will take that week off and will post again at the end of this week.  I hope you did well with your Thanksgiving planning.  It was so much more enjoyable to finish a meal and not feel sick for several hours afterwards.

Surgery Costs

   I had some expense out of pocket for the six months of medically supervised weight loss but I'm not counting this in my total.  I received an itemized invoice from the hospital which actually includes the surgeon, anesthesiologist and all the hospital junk.  Grand total before insurance...$27,189.70!!  Let's see what insurance does.

Holiday Planning

   I went to a support group this past Thursday.  It is the first one I've attended post-surgery, and even though I was one of only three people in attendance, it was good to be there.  The discussion was focused on how we plan for the holidays.  I've never really stopped to consider the emotional issues that might arise when people are celebrating with food all around you and you can't eat hardly any of it.  Even just three weeks into it, there were a couple moments that Sandra and the kids were getting something to eat that I wanted and it definitely got a little frustrating. With Thanksgiving coming up in a few days and Christmas right around the corner, I need to figure out how I am going to handle that potential frustration.

   One of the biggest things is to simply have a plan of what I'm going to eat.  At Thanksgiving dinner, I know I want to eat a little bit of turkey and I want some sweet potatoes.  I also know that I am really going to want some pecan pie because it is my favorite, and also that I should probably avoid eating a lot of sweats.  Since protein is my priority, I should make sure to eat turkey first, and a couple bites of sweet potatoes will probably be enough to satisfy my desire.  Then when it comes time for dessert, I will want to make sure to wait a little while so I don't overfill my stomach and make myself sick.  I plan to eat a small slice of pie.  I have to make sure it is small and that I can control myself because it is essential that I make good choices.  The conversation at the support group also made me think of how I am going to deal with people who want to "love me with food."

   I'm sure you all have someone in your family that is like this.  They love you and I'm sure they only have the best of intentions, but I need a plan to say no.  I need to make sure to bring band friendly snacks in case I start to get light headed or something.  I might need to make sure I have a blender with me, in case there is food that I can't simply eat yet.  Since I'll be sleeping in a hotel for three nights without normal access to a kitchen, do I wait to eat at Sandra's grandpa's house, and what if they are eating foods I can't?  There are so many things that you simply don't think about when you're traveling, or at the holidays.  So here's my plan.

• On the road, I'll need to pack some sugar free pudding in case I get hungry.  
• I will need to pack lunch or eat somewhere that has something easy for me to eat with either very soft food or soup.  
• I need to bring my blender.
• Buy a dozen eggs and frozen precooked sausage to eat at breakfast each day
• Thanksgiving dinner will include turkey and sweet potato casserole. I might sample something else as long as I don't overdo it with the band.
• I want a small slice of pie, so I will plan accordingly so I don't overeat.
• I might need to explain my food limitations ahead of time so no one has hurt feelings. 
• Plan to have one or two people I can call and talk to if I start feeling frustrated or depressed. 

There you have it.  I hope my current plan will help me make it through the holiday without any problems.  My  weight goal for the holidays is not to avoid gaining weight, or even to maintain my current weight.  I want to be able to continue losing weight in spite of all the amazing food that is available.  I want to be able to make good choices.  It's a life long lesson and goal.  How are you planning for your holiday dinners?

Phase II Diet

I had my surgery on November 1, which means I am finishing up three full weeks in Phase I of the diet.  You'll know from previous posts that the most substantial thing I am allowed to eat during the first phase is runny mashed potatoes.  I won't lie that I've had the occasion to sneak a bite of the kids mac and cheese or something.  I know it isn't technically protocol, but the bites were small and very well chewed.  As a kid I remember having thoughts along the lines of, "I could eat Jello for every meal my whole life and I'd be fine!"  I can officially say that if I never eat Jello again, it wouldn't hurt my feelings.  I've also learned that pudding isn't as bad as I remember and that I don't care all that much for Cool Whip either.  

   I made the decision during Phase I that I would start each phase a day or so early.  I was worried that when I made the switched that my stomach wouldn't agree and I didn't want to spend my Mondays at work racing to the bathroom in case I was getting sick.  Today, I went ahead with Phase II...blended foods.

   I need to work on getting protein so that is my focus when planning a meal.  This morning, I chose to scramble myself an egg.  We bought sausage scramble a few weeks ago and froze it for me.  It is really nice to have actually.  It is basically a pound of sausage that has already been crumbled and browned, then frozen. This morning, it allowed me to open the pack, scoop out about 1/4 cup of sausage and scramble it into one egg with some cheese.  I took the skillet and poured it all into the blender and ran it a few times to make sure it was all crumbly.  I also added a little salsa for moisture.  I didn't know how something like sausage or eggs would do getting blended into a liquid-y form, but it went just fine.

   When I actually tasted it, it wasn't all bad.  Yeah, you have to fight to get over the idea that what you are eating looks like a can of soft cat food, but the flavor itself is exactly the same.  I ate slowly and finished everything and felt really full.  I know that it will hold me easily until lunch at this point because in general, I don't really have an appetite.  Meals right now are something I do because I need protein, not because I feel hungry.  I'll try to post again soon about how my Thanksgiving will be impacted by the band.  Have a great weekend!

Weigh In #3

I was told that with the band, I could expect to lose maybe 1-2 pounds per week since it is just a tool and not a magic solution.  This week I am eating a bit more calories with options now available like mashed potatoes, cream soups and yogurt, so of course it slowed down.  This morning, I weighed in at 293 which is another four pounds down and a total loss so far of 31 pounds!  I'm very excited to start blending foods this weekend which is something I never really expected to say.  Either way, expect some new posts in the next few days about planning for the holidays.  Have a great weekend!!

Opportunistic Eating

   During the six months of meetings and prep work that I was required to go through in order to get my Lap Band, I read a book called Intuitive Eating.  Follow the link to check it out at Amazon...I highly recommend it.  It's a amazing book that is filled with all kinds of suggestions that you'd never expect to hear in a book about weight loss.  The book actually gives permission to eat dessert or candy on occasion, and essentially teaches that nothing is completely off limits when it comes to food.  One of the best sections of the book is where they break out the type of eater you are.

   I fit into several categories which is pretty typical.  I am considered a value driven eater which means that I always want to get the most food possible for my money.  I also hate throwing food away so I tend to eat everything on my plate regardless of hunger.  Another big trend in the value eater is eating the food left on your spouse or child's plate.  After all, you wouldn't want to waste money spent on their food either.  This was an amazingly accurate description of my eating habits.  The idea that I would go to spend a bunch of money for something at a restaurant and then only eat half of it is incredibly hard for me.

   My other biggest food category which I find difficult to handle is the opportunistic eater.  You're at work and just need to take a quick trip to the restroom.  Your co-worker always has a bowl of candy on their desk that may or may not have your favorite candy in it.  The thing is that when you walk by, you have to grab something. It isn't that you don't have a choice, but you've become conditioned for so long that you instinctively grab it and eat it, sometimes without even realizing what you are doing.  I am this person.  This is also the person who is going to snack on the junk at home...simply because it is there.  Combine these with my other biggest eating type (emotional eater) and you can see why it is so difficult to lose weight.  You're often grabbing food or making choices unconsciously combined with emotional habits of eating and you easily start consuming hundreds if not thousands of extra calories each day.

   This is where I find myself struggling already.  I've only had the band in for 15 days but I already find myself struggling with the mental side of it.  Sandra is making her way through a Walmart bag of the kids Halloween candy because they have completely forgotten about it since Halloween.  Having that bag sitting in my room was fine for a few days, and now I am incredibly tempted.  I know the band will allow my favorite candy to pass through without causing any issues and it's so easy...just because it's there.  I asked her this morning if we could just throw it away.  I want to succeed, and weight loss surgery alone will not accomplish anything.  If you want to cheat the system or make poor choices, you can and WILL fail.  Surgery doesn't make it any easier to make good choices.  I need to do whatever it takes to set myself up for success and if that means we simply can't have certain things in the house, then we need to get them out of the house.  This mental battle is just beginning.

Hunger

It's been 11 days since I had my band put in and I feel really good.  I am getting to the gym every night and getting in my exercise and just feeling decent.  Last night, I decided to give the elliptical a try and I only made it 7 minutes before I thought I was going to die.  Even 7 minutes on that things burns a lot of calories when you weight 300 pounds though.  After that, I got over to my favorite treadmill at the Rec Center and walked another 35 minutes.  Bring some headphones so you are at least mildly entertained and it can be pretty relaxing to work out.

There's two things that I'm struggling with a bit though.  The first is my protein.  I find that I don't really like my protein powders much so I sort of blow them off.  I'm hoping this doesn't come to bite me in the end, because I've been making a point to work on my muscles throughout the day even just doing squats or whatever so they are getting used.  That was another thing with the elliptical because it forces my arms to get involved more than just walking.  I don't think protein will be an issue for me when I can eat normal food again, but I'm hoping this first few weeks isn't bad.  I'm not losing hair so that's a good sign.

My biggest obstacle right now is hunger.  Actually it's a lack of hunger competing with mental hunger.  Physically, I don't really feel hungry...at all.  I didn't eat breakfast today and I've got no rumbly in my tumbly.  Two weeks ago, I wouldn't have been able to stand it and would have been calling to have Sandra bring me something or grabbing a sandwich from the cafe in my building.  Today, I drink water instead.  The mental side of it is almost exhausting though.  I see food that I used to love eating and I can't tell you how badly I just want it.  In about 9-10 days, I can put food through a blender and start eating more normal stuff.  All I want is to get a breakfast burrito from Qdoba (naked of course) and blend away!  I miss eating things.  This is about a life change though and I know it will get easier over time.  This part of the battle is just tough.